“Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever —
Can't you just see it.”
Offers perhaps the very icon of transsexualism. Dr. Frank n Furter, before he is escorted forcefully to his home planet Transylvania. Queerness, in its presentation of decadence and glamour, is often positioned as excess - greed, hunger, insatiability.
And Frank n Furter is certainly insatiable. His want for pleasure, for excitement, for sex extends beyond himself, stringing a pattern of lovers turned rejects as he moves from one person to another, eventually becoming so overcome with craving he opts to no longer search for the perfect lover, but to craft one: the Rocky horror.
I recently saw a production of Cabaret which both disappointed and inspired me. I name no names of the involved not out of fear of repercussion, but of wanting not to point fingers at individuals. It was not the performances which let me down, nor the music, nor even the design (tho it was uninspired) but the message I felt from it. The notes in the program offered an insight into the vision of the show:
“As Cabaret unfolds, its many resonances with our current moment become – I hope – quite clear. I could expand on this story’s contemporary relevance but as I write these words, I find myself instead reflecting on another aspect of the musical: the pursuit of pleasure. When life is dark, when we’re focused on survival, when the world does not make sense - and life in Weimar Berlin was chaotic, stressful and turbulent - how could we not want to seek out joy, transcendence, euphoria and escape, however illusory? Of course, taken to excess, pleasure can be destructive. But pleasure, profound or fleeting, is meaningful, and in the last few years I don’t think I’ve made enough space for it in my life.” - the director, unnamed until someone convinces me to do otherwise
Again, I’m not criticizing the director or anyone involved. I take no issue with this writeup, or his interpretation of the text, and in fact, I passionately commend the conclusion, which feels like a vow: to make more space for pleasure. I agree with the sentiment.
But there is one sentence in there which, for the months since seeing the show twice, has plagued me! I’ll point it out:
“Of course, taken to excess, pleasure can be destructive.”
Ick. I don’t like it. I don’t know why, I don’t even know if I can disagree with it, and I certainly don’t know if my disagreement would make it any less true. I think it’s true. I think it must be true. For excess is by definition: too much. Just as a child learns after eating one extra cookie that too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing, I have learned that there is a limit to even the things which bring me great joy in this life.
But I wonder, then, if anything in excess can become negative, why must the specific finger be pointed at pleasure?
I am living in the 21st century, in arguably the most socially progressive time in colonial history. I am a transsexual (yes, I like that word) and live rather safely and without consequence. Admittedly, I am in Montreal, which I would claim is a queer mecca of the modern era, at least when you consider that I lived in Winnipeg for 24 years, which is a monolith of bisexual men in hats that are too small. I have found a vibrant and beautiful community of trans, queer, and noncomforming individuals who live lives I find quite inspiring. They’re models, they’re party monsters, they’re musicians, they’re dancers, they are loudly and unapologetically queer. I am not yet of the community, but it welcomes me and I have nothing but pride (actual pride) for them. Yet, their lives are not easy. Many are poor. Many struggle with the reality of being trans in a world which has no infrastructure to care for us, especially in Quebec which feels more like a fascist state every day. I don’t know if any of them, or the majority of them, would agree with me that I live safely and without consequence as a transsexual. I doubt it somehow - in fact I’m certain they hold different perspectives, since there is no one queer community.
But I can say confidently that they live in pleasure - they live FOR pleasure. This is part of why I admire them. Ignoring, of course, the demands of late capitalism on their bodies and wallets, they live as they please, and they seem to live for pleasure. There is always a party, there is sex and drugs and alcohol and dancing and love and PLEASURE. If there is an excess of it, I am certain it can be found on the dancefloor of whatever club they find themselves in. I recently went out dancing with them, and found a joy I have not ever experienced in my life. The MDMA helped, but mostly, it was the ability to dance, dressed in the uniform of my deepest self, among people who felt the same. Queer people. Trans people. Nonbinary people. People celebrating life after two years of un-life. This joy was overwhelming, sweaty, drug-induced, and in many ways - excessive. The very essence of pleasure seemed to fill the room in a thick haze which in turned filled each of our lungs.
I don’t know the producers or DJs well, or even many of the partiers, but I imagine most of them returned to their lives of work. Likely 9-5s. Likely for minimum wage. Likely backbreaking or soulsucking or a combination of the two. Maybe online, detached from a community of workers (sidethought - unionization is made more difficult through remote work).
So I ask - in the wake of excess, is pleasure the problem?
I don’t believe it is. Pleasure is human, it is natural, it is impulsive, and for many, it is the very goal of life. Who among us does not want to feel pleasure in this life? Who does not crave the touch of another’s skin? The penetration of body, the transcendence of mind, the joy of activity, of experience, of discovery? It is universal, I believe to seek pleasure. The difference comes from the approach. In fact, were the world perfect - if such a thing exists - would we not engage in pleasure as much as possible? Would we work when necessary or as desired, in order to support the pursuit of pleasure? Would not as much of our time as possible be spent laying in the sun? Eating sweet fruit? Spending time with our loved ones, in intimate touch, conversation, or silence?
Why, then, are we so warned of the excess of pleasure? How much, exactly, is too much?
We are positioned to see pleasure not as human and innate, but as reactive - a response to the cruelty and banality of the so-called real world. It is only on the weekend we permit ourselves to let loose. It is only on vacation we guiltlessly laze on the beach or settle into our couch. Then, yes, pleasure is easily a dangerous thing, because it pulls us away from what is expected: work. Too much pleasure reminds us that our desire, our ultimate goal in our lives, is simply to feel good.
Who is it who is told to be wary of pleasure? It strikes me quite clearly that the same sentiment would not be shared in a show which did not center queer artistic expressions. In our excess, in our glamour, in our insatiability, we reject the prioritization of work over pleasure. We refuse it. Sally Bowles, admittedly naive to the world around here is a tragic character not because she dies, or because she does not care to acknowledge the rise of fascism, but because she dives headlong into self-destruction, wishing to die just as her friend died - young and in a blaze of drugs and partying. The pursuit of pleasure is what will kill her, she believes.
But not pleasure itself - in fact, were Sally able to feel satisfied, could she afford to take drugs safely, to perform every night without wondering where she would be sleeping after, she would not desperately cling to that fleeting idea, that feeling just out of reach, because she would be able to experience it.
Are the Kardashians criticized for their excess of pleasure? No. They look down upon us for not working enough.
Are retirees, having given their life to work, chastised for relaxing? No. They are celebrated for taking what is deserved - on the condition that they have in fact earned their pleasure through work.
Pleasure is not the problem.
It is the solution. It is the key, and it is the peak at the top of the mountain. Its pursuit, in the face of destruction, in the face of capitalism, fascism, death, poverty, transphobia, violence, and tragedy, is the most human impulse there is. To attempt to find or otherwise create some joy in a world which has fooled us into thinking that pleasure is dangerous to us.
“Of course, too much pleasure is dangerous” No. Not of course. Your acceptance of a grand lie is not an implicit truth. I reject the notion that I should take care not to pleasure myself, that it would be irresponsible to prioritize it in my life. I refuse to fall to the same mistakes so many do: to put my own life on hold for the sake of some other’s values - to believe you when you say that hard work is more important than joy.
Dr. Frank n Furter offers absolute pleasure - not its pursuit. Not its wish, or its fleeting idea, but its absolution. Riff Raff and Magenta, alien employees to some unseen hierarchy, refuse his vision, as it has compromised their mission - we know not what it is, only that it is expected. It is not pleasure which destroys us, but the notion that our want for peace and happiness is somehow inhuman. When we believe that, we will destroy ourselves.